Today, as promised earlier, I'm going to talk about meditation. The dictionary is no help here. MEDITATE: to reflect on or muse over; CONTEMPLATE; INTEND, PURPOSE; to engage in contemplation or reflection. The definition my friends have range from formal zazen to taking big drags off a cigarette in a contemplative way. I think fishing might be the modern day equivalent. With a rod in my hand, aside from a jingling anticipation of the BIG BITE, I feel at one with the water, trees and dirt.
The thing I never realized about meditation is that it is truly a litmus test for sanity. Hey Zeus! The minute I attempt quiet on my own, all hell breaks loose in my mind. A tidal wave of agendas, instructions, manic fantasies, music, a horror movie, ear splitting harmonics. Its like I got cable in my head. Like there is a conspiracy to keep me rattled and unable to actually think something through. Well, the good news is that if I am willing to attempt it over and over, sitting on my cushion with my eyes closed, breathing deeply, it settles down in there and I can breath and have some 'no thought' spaces before the other stuff sneaks back in.
If I get away from it though, it takes 3-4 days of sitting on my zafu (cushion inherited from my buddhist Dad) before I find peace. That feels like failing every minute, while exerting maximum exertion. Try that one on for size ! Could be I'm doing it wrong. Today I heard about a better way.
More later. The demons are dancing on my head today.
Time to read a book.
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